Why is it that when we are in the middle of it that we can't see any of it but the middle? When we are outside of it and our emotions don't feel attacked and vulnerability is no longer an issue, that is when we can truly see what went wrong, what we should have or shouldn't have done and wonder why it is we were so stuck to the middle that we couldn't see what was right there if we would have only taken a step back? Those feelings are a magnetic force, slamming us into doing desperate, brainless, foolish things that ordinarily we would scoff at as irresponsible, senseless and immature. How is it that we can crave one person's admiration and acceptance to the point of forfeiting our pride, waning our confidence and feel wayward, or even alone in a world full of people without the tenderness of that special person whom we regard as an essential headliner on the front page of our lives news? It's as if we become a different person, ignorant of what we know to be intelligent, doing the things that we promise ourselves we will never do. When do we stop this cycle? When is it not okay? When do we let go and be okay with any outcome because "what will be, will be?" Yesterday is the most intelligent answer, yet our hearts hold on to whatever shred of hope we can grasp because the sheer desire is overwhelming. When does the attraction become insufficient and the day to day actions lumination take over the place of attraction... When did fun become work...and why?
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